How To Master Emotional Intelligence – Chapter 15 – How To Improve Your EQ And Handle Conflicts
Your EQ is more important than your IQ. True. Your ability to perceive not only yourself but also the people around you is absolutely critical to your success. While a person’s intelligence quotient (IQ) can only predict 1-20% of their professional success, their emotional quotient (EQ) will predict 27-45% of their success – especially as a leader or manager.
Your EQ, which helps you manage your interactions with those around you, determines how others perceive and experience your likability, integrity, and leadership qualities. It’s true. 90 percent of your reaction – or response – to a situation determines how well you do in your career. So it matters.
How can you increase it! Well, there are three ways to immediately improve your EQ. If you apply these three things – even if it’s just making a conscious effort – your EQ will improve by the end of the workday. Stay calm. Sounds simple, and yet it’s not. Stay calm, I can handle it, you think to yourself. But there’s always that difficult person, the unpredictable stressful situation, or the piling workload. It’s like telling someone not to get upset when they stub their toe or step on a Lego – there’s an inevitable reaction to these uncomfortable moments. Staying calm does not seem so easy then. But it can be done. And if you are aware of how you normally react to any number of stressful situations or people, you can figure out how to change that reaction… for the better. For the calmer. Calm people can keep people focused and confident about the situation at hand.
They defuse conflict and help everyone think more clearly in moments of heightened emotion. You’ll be amazed at how simply being willing to change your habitual reactions can instantly improve your EQ.
Make a resolution to resolve conflict more effectively. Resolving conflict more effectively is not something you just do automatically; it requires a self-assessment of the way you currently handle conflict. However, this exercise alone is a big step in the right direction. By figuring out how you handle conflict, you can better understand how you contribute to conflict with others. It’s also important to remember that conflict is not necessarily a negative thing. In fact, disagreements – when handled respectfully – can lead to new ideas and the discovery of alternative methods.
Some of us avoid conflict, but those who are emotionally intelligent deal with and resolve it. You may not yet be sure how to do this effectively. That’s okay – take it upon yourself to improve in this area and commit to learning how to be a mediator in the future.
Demonstrate empathy. The ability to understand and relate to others is the hallmark of an emotionally intelligent person. When you try to understand those around you, you automatically increase your ability to remain calm and resolve differences. Being empathetic helps those around you feel heard, understood, respected and valued – all feelings that can boost self-confidence and lead to greater satisfaction and productivity. You will not master each of these three areas today. But your desire and commitment to improve in these areas will improve your EQ today. Choose to remain calm, resolve conflicts effectively, and show empathy for those around you. If you do this, you and those around you will not only be happier, but more successful.
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